Wednesday Evening Softball - Definity Health

Wednesday Evening Coed Softball - St. Louis Park
(Definity Health, Captain: Amy Marsh)

Date	Time	Opponent	Field	Record	How'd we do?
May 1	6:00	Red Hots	Dakota West	1-0	15-1. Huh? Anyone else surprised Definitely could have been suckier. Miss Marsh will provide the details...
May 8	9:25	PT Rounders	Aquila 1	1-0	Splish-Splash... rained-out.
May 15	7:05	PT Pilsners	Aquila 5	1-1	We were off to a rough start, Nate was missing, the opposing team was hitting balls to the fence & over the fence.......... at the bottom of the 3rd inning the score was 2-10. But then out of the blue, Nate shows up, our energy rises and Paul hits a nice one bringing in Ann and himself. Steph, who claims to have never played softball before, surprises me with a good hit and Brad hits a Home Run bringing in Phil and Leah. We score 7 runs in the 4th inning! Our defense picks up as Todd, who is also known for his acrobats, makes an amazing catch. Paul, at the plate, strikes out a batter or two, Ann sacrifices her body in order to catch/stop the ball (OUCH!), Leah makes good plays at first and Janel makes an awesome out at home plate. Even with all this amazing team work, the other team still scores 7 more runs. Bottom of the 5th, score 10-17. Last inning, Brad gets a hit, Janel gets out at first, Todd hits a fly ball and gets out, but wait there is Brad tagging up and scoring a run! 2 outs and Ann is up to the plate. She gets a hit, Paul gets a hit, and then I get a hit and they both score a run.... that's 2 more! Nate gets walked and Steph automatically gets advanced to first base. Bases are loaded, 2 outs, and Phil walks up to the plate .......... no pressure! Oh and he gets a nice hit but they catch it.....bummer! Final score 13-17. Next time, we will beat them!
May 22	7:05	Deloitte Demons	Aquila 5	2-1	You can call it perseverance, skill, or just plain luck. With all the recognition and 'cans o' whoop ass' being handed out, the Definity Health team was inspired to open a large BARREL OF WHOOP ASS on the Deloitte Demons. We started out shaky, with only 8 people taking the field. The energetic opposing group of consultants looked lean and energetic, and just like their real jobs, there were two of them for every position. Dave Ackerman made a return visit to Definity Health to pitch for the team, and proved to be a nice addition. The game started out tough. At the bottom of the 2nd, we were down 4 to 3. Then out of no where, Arlene shows up. The energizing friend of Paul fooled Deloitte by striking out, this strategic move set Deloitte on their duffs. What happened next can only be called unbelievable. We rapped in 3 runs with a home run from Paul. More runs with a hit by Brad and Dave (yes Ackerman, not Dickey). Jessi wrapped a double, bringing in more runners. We tallied up 13 runs that inning and kept our momentum moving. What appeared to be impossible and may have made the Deloitte auditors question our math skills, gave us a 13-4 lead. The next few innings were a volley of runs and hits, dominated by Definity. When I asked Dave Ackerman what was the score...he smirked and replied "we got something in the twenties", as we pulled to a 22 to 9 lead in the 6th. The Definity team was getting tired, however, and needed this cushion of runs. Between Phil and Kim, you could only find two good legs. You would never guess it by Kim's outstanding fielding, however, as she took down three with right field catches. Phil was another story, as Deloitte batters actually began facing left field to make sure they could hit it toward him, increasing their chance at a run. Solid pitching and infield play held Deloitte to only 2 more runs. The final score: 23-11 victory for Definity!
May 29	7:05	Crab Busters	Dakota West	3-1	Holding off an approaching rainfall (and the antics of Amy's eight year old son), the DH Ballers pulled out their second straight win. The game started out as a defensive battle (including a three-up, three down, four-pitch first inning for Claseman). After two innings, we were all knotted up at two runs a piece. That's when I decided to go to the park and play on the slide. When I got back, we were trailing 10-2 (coincidence?... perhaps). Personally, I think it had something to do with the holes in our gloves. At that point, some thought the game was lost, even stating that it was mathematically impossible for us to comeback (not going to name names... okay, it was me). But, we struck back with eight of our own in the bottom of the third to tie it up (course, Nate had to prove the math to me). The offensive explosion included a dinger by aforementioned calculating Nate, a grand salami from Diana (that'll back them up), and Kim showing off her toughwoman title running the bases while constantly grabbing her groin (yes, it was due to injury). The DH defense tightened-up following some patchwork glove stitching and the battle cry of "Nice Squeal (Bart to Amy)" and we continued to dump in the runs with some timely hitting and some big time scoot rounding the bases (even despite the proper softball attire, although we did have a couple of swank visors). Some other stuff happened and... (insert any name) played a really good game. We hung on to win 21-17 (although gave them every opportunity to comeback when we inserted our "closer"). Well played well played. Bring out the Geritol... we've got the Seniors next week.
June 5	6:10	PT Seniors	Aquila 5	3-2	I can't believe it! We got beat by a bunch of old people (the PT Seniors) 20-14. In spite of the play of our all-star right fielder Steph, we were unable to make enough plays in the field. To make matters worse, our bats didn't do enough damage. Personally, I think we underestimated our opponents. When you see gray-haired people with knee braces, you think it's going to be an easy game. We'll know better next time. On a more positive note, the annual Runnin' Cows Bowlorama is on for Friday June 14 at the Park Tavern from 6-8pm. The cost is $10 for moonlight bowling. An additional $10 buys a ticket in a drawing for a chance at fabulous prizes. Proceeds go to fund the Runnin' Cows softball team, with any extra funds going to support a local charity (to be determined). A good turnout is expected for the most anticipated event of the year. Reserve your place now. Rsvp Paul Claseman at paul.claseman@definityhealth.com. Click here for more details. The Cows thank you for your support.
June 12	7:15	SLP Fire Extinguishers	Aquila 1	4-2	Much like the raging forest fires in Colorado, the Definity Health bats were ablaze as everybody’s favorite team scorched the local public servants 20-5. Big hits were lit up by left fielder Nate and right fielder Steph (who credits her new pre game concoction of Tequila, lime juice and Triple Sec). But it wasn’t just the bats that were hot. Some slick fielding plays by catcher/dog life-saver Janel smothered any flicker of hope that these so-called firefighters had. Definity ended a losing streak as the anticipated return of Leah (who brought much needed focus) to the lineup and the addition of hot hitting Chris (Phil 2) seemed to light a fire under the team. The game was close early, but the turning point came in the 5th inning when player/coach Amy fielded a grounder and yelled so loudly that the runner got scared and jumped out of the baseline and was called out. When asked for comment after the game shortstop Brad replied “Man, I live in St Louis Park and I sure hope they are better at putting fires out than they are at getting our hitters out. I’ll have to quit smoking in bed with that can of gasoline sitting in my room.”
June 19	6:10	Red Hots	Aquila 1	5-2	Wednesday brought a much awaited re-match between the DH crew and the dreaded Red Hots. Game faces were evident on both benches, with intense pre-game posturing being delivered by both teams. This glimpse of gamesmanship would ring true and become a reality in the next hour. A valiant, but short-handed DH team hit the field in the first with only 8 players. A lack of full gender representation left two able bodies on the bench. Undaunted, a valiant, but shorthanded DH team hit the field in the first with only 8 players. Pitching, as always was a key for DH - Claseman showcased his skills with strike after strike, registering an unheard of 5 strikeouts (some fanning and some watching) - and continued to deliver strikes even after pullin' a hammy on a streak toward 2nd base. Fielding became and interesting challenge with only 3-in and 3-out. Brad felt the limits early on when he almost tossed a routine force out at 2nd to an empty bag - and Amy let out one of her characteristic, unearthly squeels of exasperation when she covered a ground ball from 3rd and realized the runner was on his way behind her to the base. Even "the Nooch" got into the act with some great plays at shortstop. As fielders struggled to survive, the bats got hot with base hits/sac flies - and the eyesight got keen with walks when the opposing pitcher grew weary in the heat. In the end, stellar and consistent play by all brought home a 13-8 victory. Red Hots?...........how about Red Nots!!
June 26	6:10	PT Rounders	Aquila 2	5-3	We lost.
July 3	.	.	.	.	Make up games (if necessary)
July 10	6:10	PT Pilsners	Dakota East	5-3	Rained-out.
July 17	6:10	Deloitte Demons	Aquila 2	6-3	The other team forfeiedt (they didn't have enough players), so we got the win
July 24	7:15	Crab Busters	Aquila 1	6-4	It was a dark, stormy evening for the DH softball team. Will we have another rain out? Should we start building an ark? A few breaks in the clouds let us begin our game. Unfortunately, our internal barometers were hay-wire and we suffered a barrage of hits in the first inning by the Crab Busters -- they brought 8 Busters past home plate with our team looking as though we should have stayed at JJs. But we were not to be outdone! Over the next 5 innings, as we dodged rain drops the size of reuben balls, DH made an attempt to turn the table. A few well-caught fly balls (Phil, Chris, Kim) along with some offensive shots (Paul, Amy, Brad) and we were coming back strong. Sadly, Mother Nature was rooting for the Busters as lightning and thunder ended our game when we were down by one run at the end of 5. "Raindrops keep falling on my head..." and better luck next week. Final score was 8-9 (we lost).
July 31	9:25	PT Rounders	Aquila 2	7-4	This is third-hand, but from what I hear... we barely fielded a team, the other team was a bunk of wanks and there was something about a giant cockroach. Sounds like a recipe for victory. DH pulled out another one and no-one got their butt kicked. Sounds like a successful night.
Aug. 1	6:10	PT Pilsners	Aquila 2	8-4	Getting nine runs in the first inning didn't hurt (I won't mention that they only had eight fielders... rats! Just did)... but even after we let them level the playing field we continued to roll. Final of 18-5... or something like that. Good way to end the most successful season of any DH sport ever! Whoop Dee Doo! See you at the gym for the off-season weight program.

Info: Rainouts: In the even of threatening weather, participants are encouraged to call the "rain line" (952-924-2567) no earlier than two hours prior to the scheduled game time to find out if games have been canceled. A prerecorded message will be updated every hour beginning at 4:00 p.m. It is possible that games scheduled for later in the evening will be played in spite of earlier cancellations.