The Big Surprise! (aka Pam and Pat's big trip to Thailand for Mom's 70th Birthday)

Arrived in Taipei at 10 pm (Friday May 9) after a brisk 22 hour flight. My friend Lily and her sister Sandy (very American names for Taiwanese women) picked me up from the airport. We had a five minute stop at a 7-11 for a pork bun, and then proceeded directly to a night club... at which we danced and drank until 5 am (I believe my jet lag and the 12 hour time difference from Minneapolis saved me this late/early morning). This was a much more bold start to the trip than I had predicted. And, the club was ridiculous. Twenty foot tall robots (men on stilts) covered in plasma televisions, skankily-clad girls dancing on the bar, "cocktail" type bottle spinning by the bartenders (oh, and the bottles were flaming). I did countless tequila shots (including one that was purchased for me by an admiring gentleman from Australia). Course, the gals I was with had twice as many. Crazy.

Lots of bushy black hair (maybe what Johnny's hair might look like if he didn't get it cut for months) and stylish eyeglasses.

Safe to say... I slept in the next morning. Did a bit of shopping. Ate some yummy Japanese hot pot for lunch. Ate a hamburger (yes, I broke my rule and ate a hamburger... but I might add that I thought I was ordering a chicken burger... turns out a chicken burger is a hamburger [beef patty] with a chicken patty on top of it) at a TGI Friday's knockoff for dinner (the restaurant was cowboy-western themed and played top 40 music, in chronological order, from 1985 through 2007). Went bowling. Then, yes, went to another club and again stayed out, again, until 5 am.

Clubbing is not a proper cure for jet lag.

Only slept for an hour. I think my body's a bit messed-up. Go figure.

Heard that Steph and Craig had their baby (Logan George... perfect). What absolutely fabulous news. I assume everyone in the Twin Cities (with a focus on Ham Lake) is ecstatic. How cool. How very, very cool.

Went to the most fabulous dumpling restaurant. Ate dumplings until I was sick. Visited the top of Taipei 101 (the tallest building in the world). Had my camera in my pocket. Not sure why I didn't snap a photo. Had Mother's Day dinner with my friend's mom. Slept early.

Starbucks everywhere.

I just realized how bland this page is. Sorry, this is the extent of my web design skills. Promise to add some links to photos soon.

At the airport waiting to leave Taipei and takeoff for Bangkok. Will meet-up with my dad and sister (she flew in last night and stayed at a hotel) to surprise my mom (her 70th birthday is on May 15). I can't wait! I'm as excited to surprise my mom as I have been for anything in quite awhile. I truly think she'll love it. Makes me smile just typing this. My dad's been involved in the surprise too and has been enjoying the planning. I love it. We've coined this entire surprise "Operation: The Sky is Falling". When I was a child, my mom used that term all the time when she was surprised (or mortified). Yeah, silly.

Okay, the big moment has arrived. I was met at the airport by my dad and sis and our driver (yes, we have a driver) scurried us over to my parents' condo. My mom opened the door and we yelled out our "SURPRISE!". My mom instantly went into explaining (jabbering) to us on how she knew we were coming. Granted, between a poorly timed phone call on my part, the non-answering of my phone while I was in Taiwan, and my out-of-office autoreply, she did have a number of hints. My sis did a fantastic job of last-minute diverting with a call of her own, but mostly, that just made my mom think I was dead. In the end though, she was really happy. We were all really happy. And, we laughed and laughed about being in Thailand and my mom's self-proclaimed "sixth sense". The barrage of food pushing from mom began immediately and she's already asked me to switch my shirt once. I sure do love her.

My mom is crazy, animated, and so over-the-top. I see where we get it.

Not much to report from our first full day in Bangkok. Spent our morning working out (Mom on the treadmill, Pam on the bike, Pat stumbling through an eliptical... pa went to work). Went for a swim (condo has a pool). Went to pray and make a donation at the temple. Then, we went to the most unbelievable department store (yes, this is what we do... if you're looking for cultural enlightenment, you're not going to find it in a Sukhum trip to Thailand). The food court alone was ridiculous. Everything you can imagine as far as the eye could see (heck, we were so enamored by our options that we ate two meals in a manner of three hours). Ugh. Why didn't I take a photo? Spent the day shopping. Pam got a bag. I got some shoes. Pretty riveting story, huh?

Had some Japanese food for dinner (and some fun conversations about our grandparents). That's about it for the day. It's funny that, halfway around the world, our day was so simple. Guess that's how family goes, or at least how our family goes. Either way, it works. It was a good day.

Thai people sure like their food and their stuff. I see where we get it.

Off to the beach! We loaded up our minivan (yes, a minivan) and headed out on our two-hour roadtrip to Hua Hin on the Gulf of Thailand. Note that for our two night trip, we brought four suitcases and nine other miscellaneous computer bags, coolers, purses, and a tube full of painting. As you can see, we're quite low maintenance. One quick stop a Burger King for a pork burger (which was indeed just a pork patty) and we were off to the beach. It was a fun car ride. Lots of good laughs and teasing... mostly around my dad's little belly, Pam potentially being adopted and my "chop stick" arms.

After settling in at our hotel, we hit a local seafood restaurant and ate enough crab to make even Toddy jealous. After thoroughly stuffing ourselves, my sister and I were still able to nudge an inch of room for the traditional Thai dessert of Dairy Queen. Yes, Green Tea Blizzards. One thing... the small cup was seriuosly the size of a dixie cup. Imagine the surprise of the DQ staff when Pam and I each ordered a "take home" container, shoved a spoon in each and proceeded to gobble them down. Talk about portion control. We are quite the dainty Americans.

Finished the day taking a quick walk with mom (while Pam, unsuccessfully snuck into the pool). Think I might have accidentaly kicked a frog that then peed on me (it was dark). Nice way to end the night.

It's probably not surprising that you're never really hungry if you're always eating.

Happy Birthday Mom!

We started the day off with a long walk around the pool and on the beach - spotting crabs, wading in the ocean, picking up shells. It was a nice way to show the world you're a spry 70 years young. We came across a jellyfish that washed-up on the beach. At first, I was stumped as to what it was and had to ask my dad, like I was six years old at the zoo. Think we always turn to our parents for answers like that? Funny.

We then ran off to a quick breakfast buffet (buffet = overeating) and went to the room to rest. I went straight to email. Pam went to paint. Dad watched HBO. Mom played slots on her iPhone. Perfect.

Played some tennis. As nice as it is to relax... it's also awfully nice to just get outside and play (and sweat, really sweat). We also got my dad to join us (while my mom snapped photos... on her iPhone). He hasn't played in over five years (which is why it was so cool and fun), but still quickly regained the confidence (bravado?) to try a shot (unsuccessfully) between his legs. Hilarious. Good thing his children didn't get ANY of that bravado. Walked over to the pool to cool off. Yes, it's a tough go in paradise.

Found our way to some afternoon ice cream and then finished the days activities with a jog on the beach (I actually kept a decent pace. That's easy to do when you're being chased by two dogs) and a walk with mom while the sun was setting.

Off to mom's birthday dinner. A delicious Thai meal with a fun finish. Big props to our very sweet, diligenct, harmonic waiters. Very funny.

Lots of smiles out of mom today. A good day. A very good day.

Woah! It's a hot one out there.

Not even sure if anyone's reading anymore, but if so, you've probably got down our routine. Woke up. Ate too much at breakfast. Fought off heat stroke playing some tennis. Played in the pool. Oh, and we saw some crazy, corporate team building exercise. Funny.

Goodbye Hua Hin. Ride back to Bangkok was role reversal as mom wouldn't stop chatting in the back seat and dad wouldn't stop poking the back of my head as Pam and I tried to nap. I guess you get an act whatever age you like when you turn 70. Seems fair.

We took the train (note that this is not a common mode of transportation for my mom) back to our favorite food court for dinner. This time though, Pam I toured it like it was the State Fair. We found plenty of good stuff on a stick. The food court is the basement of this department store. The top floor is a movie theater. And what a theater.

Yes, we're in Thailand and we went to see a movie (Ironman - an American movie at that). But this theater would have made Noah proud (and, my dad was really anxious to show it to us... and to have Pam try the popcorn). It had a lobby that was as big as a football field... and fancy. There were pre-movie party rooms that rivaled any club. The screen was humongous. The theater had only 32 chairs, each being a motorized leather recliner. Once you were seated, an attendant brought you a pillow and a blanket. And at the start, everyone stood while they played a two-minute tribute to King Bhumibol. Very cool. Yes, I just wrote the longest paragraph of this page on a movie theater. So be it.

Off to bed. One more day. Bummer.

I could live off fresh mango and curry noodle soup.

Snapped a few family photos with some flowers my mom received for her birthday. My dad snapped the shots and for some reason, only wore one sock... multiple times. I'm sure that's not anything too noteworthy, and I'm obviously having a difficult time deciding what to share, but we found it really funny.

Started off the morning with a jog to the train station, and really, I've never seen anyone jogging in Bangkok. Due to the heat and the nonstop threat of being rundown by traffic, I didn't keep much of a pace. As ridiculously nice and polite the people of Thailand are, they are really aggressive drivers. And, although you don't see as many in Bangkok as you did a dozen years ago, it's still a bit of a surprise to see an elephant drinking out of water fountain in front of some corporate building surrounding by traffic. Oh, I took the train to the old National Stadium near the river to look for some sports apparel (a route Billy knows quite well).

Returned to join the family having dim sum with a few of Dad's sisters (our infamous "aunties"). Really, our only relative appearance of the trip. Then we hit yet another department store for yet some additional shopping. As you can see, dad didn't holdup too well to the multiple hours at the mall.

We went splits as Pam headed off for a massage and dad and I took a little walk to the new (well, newer) National Stadium to catch a soccer match. It was a kick (all puns intended). The match was between Manchester City from England and a Thai All Star team (the Thai team won 3-1). It was very cool to see a major sporting event, even down to the hot dog wieners on a stick, fishballs, and dried squid. And, those soccer fans can be crazy, at least those that sit on the "free" side like we did.

We all rendezvoused for another ridiculous buffet dinner. This one was so fantastic I actually found myself frustrated that I couldn't eat more. Nonetheless, we killed it (we murdered it... tell 'em little mama!) We also had a bit of a Gray Poupon moment on the way home as my pops bought some mangos out the window of the car. It interesting what I'm finding amusing these days.

Why does time go so fast when you're really enjoying it?

Well, we're off to the airport in a matter of minutes. Our cultural tour of Thailand via swimming pools, department stores, food courts and movie theaters is coming to an end. As much as I'm the guy who's always anxious to get back in town (and back on email, and back to sports leagues, and back to dancing at The Front) and not miss a thing, I could have stayed a bit longer.

Had our goodbyes at the airport. Kind of sad.

After a number of very thorough security searches, we're now on our way home. I'm typing a way as Pam eats her low fat airplane meal. We've already had a couple of laughs looking at some photos from the last week. When family works, it really works. As quickly as we revert to our stereotypical roles - an opinionated daughter and an adolesent son completey dependent on an overly doting mother and a somewhat absent-minded father - we're also so good. We laugh and tease and love. And, at least this week, it felt perfect.

Home soon.

Well, you read it all. Thanks. You're off the hook.