September 14, 2002

Once you let women think they are even somewhat in control - BAM! - they take over your life with your balls in their purse. I regrettably report that it is an irreversible process. The key is to not let the initial reaction take place. It could be something as small as letting her use the remote just once! Them women-folk are sneaky too. They will try to break down your defenses with beer, food, and even sex! When this happens, you are at a critical crossroads, where you must stay strong. Don't fall for that "honey" and "dear" crap either. Those are actually super-secret code words, used by women, for "slave".

At the time of this correspondence there is no cure. That is what makes this "affliction" so scary. Matter of fact, the CDC classifies it as a level 6. For comparison, the ebola virus is a level 5.

Scary stuff, man. I felt it was time to let you in on the hidden dangers of these so-called women. Use this knowledge to battle these evil temptresses and to teach others how to beat them at their game.

It is too late for many of us, but if you can stand strong, it may persuade others to see "the light". You now hold the future of mankind in your hands. Do us proud. May the Force be with you!

Obiwan Kirky

P.S. If THEY find out that I have told you this, I may be killed, so please do not repeat this info in front of THEM. Must....hit....send.....ahhhhhhhrggggghh!!!

P.P.S. I think this is all of the deceased married men who were using me as a medium to warn others. They say that heaven consists of beer and sex with no strings attached! Now that sounds like paradise to me!

Feel free to submit some of your own stories, comments, or criticisms. We are all friends here, right?

Happy reading.

Kirk

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