Movie Reviews

September 25, 2002

A potpourri of movie reviews from Kirk. More informative than entertaining. Basically, his community service for the year...

Original Sin - (starring Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas) was a little disappointing, yet a little pleasantly surprising. I was expecting a weak plot with a lot of steamy sex scenes (kinda sounds like a porno, don't it?), but instead I was treated to a good storyline with one scene of decent fornication. Guys get to enjoy Ms. Jolie's top half and women get to enjoy Antonio's back half. I guess you have to give a little to get a little. All in all, pretty good.

The Musketeer - don't waste your time.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder - Billed as the 'Animal House' of this generation, I was extremely disappointed. They tried putting a message in the story and had maybe one good scene of boobies. The humor was OK. There were a few times that I laughed aloud, but that was about it. Tara Reid looked good, but still sucks as an actress. Van Wilder was played by the funny dude in 'Two Guys and a Girl' - formerly a show on ABC. He was decent, but he couldn't pull this movie out of the trash. I'd say rent it once, but do not buy it.

The New Guy - Another movie that tries to deliver a message. What is with that? The plot is some skinny kid who is a big geek with geeky friends. So with the help of Eddie Griffin (who almost saved the movie), a stint in jail, and a change of high schools, he drops his geeky image (and friends) for a silent, bad ass demeanor. The chicks want him and the guys want to kick his a**. The ending is fairly predictable and, therefore, not very funny. Rent at your own risk.

Monster's, Inc. - This a cleverly done movie about these monsters in Monstrapolis whose job it is to travel over to our world, via closets, and scare little kids. The screams are then collected and made into energy which Monstrapolis uses to run their city. The fun begins when a small girl comes through a closet into the monster's world. Despite being rated G, I found it funny and very well done. Buy it!

Austin Powers-Goldmember - Speaking of the International Man of Mystery... It was the least funny of the three. The Goldmember character wasn't very funny. Fat Bastard was OK. Overall, nothing great. Course, as a Siskel to Kirk's Ebert, John Park says it was okay if you like way over-the-top humor.

Memento - too hard to follow and made you think way too much.

The Score - Decent. I think that Norton is one hell of an actor. He's been good in every movie he's been in.

Rat Race was weak. There's a trailer that shows Kirsten Dunst out in the cold rain.

Crazy Beautiful - We watched Kirsten Dunst in a movie about dating a Mexican kid. Never got real steamy. She was a real spoiled, irresponsible, and rich high school chick. He was a hard working kid who rode the bus two hours one way to attend her better school. Got kinda boring. Basically, she screws up everything he has been working so hard to achieve. was the name of it, just remembered.

Black Hawk Down - Lot of blood, guts, and fast moving cameras. Like a present day version of the first 10 minutes of Saving Private Ryan. It sucks that it is based on a true story. We really screwed the pooch on that one.

Unbreakable - Thoroughly enjoyed. It stars Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson. It involves action, mystery, and drama (some humor too). Bruce Willis' character, for some reason, cannot be physically hurt...or so it seems. Samuel L. Jackson's character, on the otherhand, is always hurt. This whole scenario plays out until we kind of understand why these two are that way. It is a definite renter...go get it today.

Joe Dirt - Better than I thought it would be. David Spade plays Mr. Dirt, who is in his early 30's, but never quite got out of the 1970's. His quest is to find his parents. On his quest he meets many interesting people, including a well sculpted blonde. Nice! The storyline is actually decent and the characters are pretty funny. See it now!

Sling Blade - Way different movie than I thought it would be. I was expecting a slashing, horror flick. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised with a movie about a mentally challenged man who is trying to fit back in to the "real world" after being locked up in the looney bin for many years. Billy Bob Thorton does an excellent job as Carl, the main character. Now Billy Bob has two things to be proud of. This one is more than a renter. I suggest buying it. Definitely a classic.

American Pie 2 - to put it bluntly, weak. The whole premise of the movie was poor and the jokes were predictable. The use of the f-word and some nudity (with hints of lesbianism) did help it's appeal, but it was unable to keep it from generally sucking. As most of you know, I am easily entertained, but this did not do it for me. Frankly, I think they just tried too hard. It is a "renter" at best.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? - Great movie. This may have been George Clooney's best work since...well ever. It is a humorous 1920's spin of The Odyssey (you know Cyclops, the Sirens, etc). It didn't even contain swear words or nudity and I still liked it! You'll find yourself rooting for the 3 main characters (prison escapees) as they run into numerous obstacles on their way back home. It is a "must see".

Tomcats - It had it's moments. The only nudity is in the outtakes...talk about disappointment.


Feel free to submit some of your own stories, comments, or criticisms. We are all friends here, right?

Happy reading.

Kirk

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