Wednesday Evening Football
CSC Sports
(612!, Captain: Sukhum, Fort Snelling)

CSC Weather Line: 612-929-9333 x3
(League Webpage - Click Here)

(from Bic) Apparently, for tonight, one needs a Ph.D. in order to write a recap. And apparently, one also needs a Craig in order to break open a can of whoop-ass. Missing four (don’t let it happen again) of our regulars, 612! (that’s six-one-two and NOT six-twelve ref) opened the game trading scores with a doe-eyed Hump Day Heroes under the leadership of “Surprise! I got married last week” Billy. Feeling generous, 612! also traded stops on drives with the young-uns. But then we got stingy. “I’m from 651” Shon lit the match with a neat little pick. But it was “I didn’t get mad or chirpy with anyone tonight” Craig who threw some lighter fluid on that flame with his magical (but not au natural) arm. Hump Day Heroes was left dizzy as we sacked, scrambled, picked (“I can play even though I’m from 763” Craig took one to the house), and grabbed all kinds of passes. “Super last-minute sub” Jessi had a couple of great deep catches. And “Back from a 3-year hiatus” D wasn’t too shabby at all. On top of everything, it was a beautiful night. Aaaahhh, fall football. Gotta love it.

(from Mark) Bite Me takes a chunk out of 612! - Lead by a tall bald guy in a sweaty gray shirt, Bite Me knocked 612! out of service last night. Many experts still see 612! as a great team, and like all great teams, they reacted to the loss with bitterness, denial and finger pointing. Keith should have knocked down that first pick giving us the ball at their goal line. Pat could have knocked down one of those deep passes that went for a score. If Mark would have "just thrown the ball!" on the conversion, it would have worked. I'm sure Pam and Steph should have done something different, but I can't remember. Bic could have caught that pass then went for a pick. Bill should have invited 612! to his wedding. And if Shon would have just put Nemo on the DVD in the Odyssey, the kids would have stopped crying. Anyway, things are looking up for next week when half the team is portaging around Canada. That means there will be fewer fingers to point, which is a good thing.

Postponed due to oncoming tornadoes. Go figure. Here's what the website says - *Make-up games due to weather or other issues may be played on Sunday evenings (or other non-standard league days/nights if required), and will be posted on this site if applicable.

(from Billy) More Cowbell might want to consider a new name: Not Enough Cowbell. They started and ended pretty strong, but struggled mightily throughout the guts of the game. On their opening drive, they marched down the field - but Salty was there to pick off a pass in the end zone when it counted. On 612's first play from scrimmage, Craig launched a pass downfield to a streaking Pat for a TD. (Meanwhile...in the airport control tower, Gary and Phil argued over whether their radar had picked up a Bogey or a UFO...) After another defensive stop, Six-Twelve as the old-timers call 'em, moved down the field again. With Bic on the sidelines with an injured knee, our other two women had to step up. And they did - despite having defenders literally draped over them at times. Pam had a great catch over her head to gain the first down and Steph came up with the TD on a nice out route. Cowbell tried to ring up a little offense but once again came up short. (They would have been even shorter if the ref had gotten his frozen whistle to work on one of four sacks by Steph and Keith that were not called.) Before half, 612 had another chance but this time the defense held. Half time score 12-0.

In the second half, the 612ers were hoping to call a few of their friends long-distance! Craig connected with Keith on a little stop-and-go route that caught the defender off guard. The defender was able to knock the ball out of Keith's hands, but not before he had hit pay dirt. On the next drive, Craig hit Pat on a crossing route ending with a nice diving catch. Cowbell was in trouble and resorted to some no-huddle Globetrotter action that took us by surprise. They were able to come up with a score after Curly lateralled to Slim and we fell for the hidden ball trick and the bucket of confetti gag. Not to be outdone, we tried to pull the old "where-she-goin" play with Pam pitching to Craig throwing to a wide-open Steph. It may not have worked, but even their squad and fans were impressed with our attempt at bamboozling them. On their final drive, Keith was rushing and picked off a pass that their QB tried to float over his head. Oops! Final score 24-6. Yep, no extra points converted. Can someone check the rule book to see if we can start kicking them?

Fields flooded. No games

(from Salty) Where the hell is the other team? This was the question that we all were asking about five minutes after the game was scheduled to start. Reffy Guy set us at ease by stating that the Heat on their way from the Wild game and would be there within minutes. Well, the other team finally arrived and so did the rain. Rain, rain, go away, 612 wants to play. We took the rain in stride and gave them a thorough drubbing, as the final score was something like 50-7. I think Reffy Guy stopped counting at halftime when it was 30-0. Pat was quick to pick out their best player as he was the only Heater wearing cleats. The highlights: Pammy was a sure thing for MVP getting us on the board with our first two TDs. Billy added a TD with a fabulous over-the-shoulder grab. Stephy showed us all how to play great defense and tried to be charitable by juggling a pass, that we all thought was a TD, over to Marky who caught it just out of bounds. Marky was in-bounds when he hauled in a pass for a two-point conversion. No trouble getting those this game. Keithy went to great lengths to keep his hands dry and had a nice TD catch. For you spectators out there, using your chest and face to stop your fall is not recommended. Patty had too many TDs to count, had a nice INT on the tip drill, and was a force rushing the passer as he padded his stats with sack after sack. On the subject of too many to count, Craiggy was tossing TDs with astounding frequency. We finished out the game with a little round robin at QB as everyone spread the love around.

No D, Keith, Bic, Craig or Pat (Sean and Noah were the super subs). Noah said, "It was fun...until I pulled my hammy". Shon said, "we got schooled last night. Shut out like 30-0. Ouch". Steph said "ugh. It was awful. they creamed us. Pam and I couldn't wait for it to be over". Pam said, "we lost by a score of three-million to zero". Perhaps, enough said.

Keith had a sweet leaping grab and a sweet sideline diving grab. Craig fired rockets. Steph had some great bobbling catches. Bic had a crucial pick. Pam played one with her face. Salty was a sack machine. Bill was impeccable on the goaline. And, I saw it all from my crampy legs on the sideline (sorry). It seriously was sweet to watch (I've edited out any not so great plays from my memory) as the defense completely dominated our feast or famine rivals. I missed the 5-8, but heard rumors of "the compound" came up again... as well as the destructive power of Bill's behind. Good times. Oh, by the way, if you missed something like four calls from me last night on your cell phone, it's because I was trying to track down whether someone had grabbed my ball. Steph and Craig did. Sweet win! Bring on the playoffs!

(from Bic) Maybe it was because we didn’t do jump ball. Or perhaps we can blame it on Stephy’s absence. But something was OFF in the first .5 seconds of the game when they scored on us with a quick pass up the middle. If that wasn’t head-spinning, the back-and-forth of the ensuing first half, as we traded touchdowns and picks with Al’s, was enough to make this little 612!-er into a dizzy dinosaur. “Hooray, Billy picked the ball!” (Cut to 6 seconds later) “Crap, they just picked the ball back.” Despite our inability to capitalize (i.e., smoke them to kingdom come) on their man-to-man defense, 612! went into halftime with a small lead and blew open the game in the second half with just a couple of hiccups (And by hiccups, I mean the two times Craigy called plays that no one understood). While the quick pace of the game was a bit surreal, it was exhilarating to see Shonny’s tippy-toe catches; Pammy’s butt-breaking efforts; Billy’s TD dive; Marky’s two-point grab that choked their rusher’s premature cheers; Keithy’s diving D; and of course, MVP (‘bout time you did something) Pitter’s long-ball TDs and picks. And since I’m an educator, here’s some homework for next week: 1) Heal the bum bum; 2) Recite “Look to the outside when running chairs” 600 times; 3) Work on not falling on an out pattern; 4) Learn to call plays so at least one teammate can understand; 5) Take the “Let’s punt it 80 feet high and 10 feet long” strategy out of the playbook; 6) Shut down the pass-for-score up the middle; and 7) Find the “kick-ass-when-they-play-man-on-us” button and turn it on. Quiz at game time. Study groups encouraged.

(from D)

Game 1 was a relatively comfortable win for 612. The defense was stellar as the other squad's first three drives ended with an interception. We wound up with 4 or 5 picks for the game. However, they finally did score with 8 seconds left in the half on 4th down, beating D in the corner (step one of his well earned LVP award). The offense clicked on deep routes and crosses as they stayed in man coverage much of the night and got burned. Game over. Bring on small dog's squad.

Game 2 had, how should I put this, a different feel to it. We stalled in their territory on our opening drive, then they took about 4 plays to gash us right down for a score. The monster truck driver kept shoving his grille in everyone's face and things got testy. We scored late in the first half and had them on the ropes early in the second until the LVP was called for pass interference on 4th and 50, setting up a score and keeping them up two. We never really got any closer than that. Throw in a couple 99.5 yard QB scrambles, a few shoves, elbow shivers and homophobic rants and you've got the gist of it.

Season over, but all is not lost. We shared deep fried and juicy things at the 5-8 afterwards, discovered our new favorite Comptroller is the key to the Wolves success, and recruited a thug to battle with the small-dicked Napoleon Chihuahua next year. Thanks for another great year everybody.