Who's got the Fever?

Charlie is the Man!

This area was reserved for a picture of a pair of rather large twins riding matching motorcycles (Guinness Book style). Sorry, I couldn’t find the pic on the internet. I’ll give $1 to the man who locates this prized photo. Times up. Now, it’s only for you honor.

What's that ringing in my head? Never mind. Mother nature welcomed Joey Z. and Ian M. with a nice cool chill in the air... too bad we couldn't welcome them back with a victory. Goals were as elusive a Belinda Jensen's autograph as we tied our second contest in a row. Although completely dominated throughout, BK scored an UGLY goal to take an early 1-0 lead (oh yeah, did I mention that they were a bunch of wining children). The ball spent 90% of it's time in our opponents end, but we still couldn't get the equalizer. As everyone began to tire, COBRA was better tested, but kept us in the game. Finally, we were able to tie it up with Ian blasting one past their (surprisingly tough) goalie (better than a loss, but we should have killed these guys). Although he still avoided the lock-up, Joel (this week joined by Charlie) kept his thuggish attitude flowing (although he did implement a new "dirty-clean" technique that no one really understood). Oh well. Win one for Billy and me next week! This recap brought to you buy the color Sweet Bitter.

Feb. 10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7:00

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ball
Huggers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2-2-2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3-4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(from Joel) It was a cold and snowy February evening. Women and children and weaker men were huddled in their homes in front of the fireplace sipping on hot cocoa. Ultra though didn't have time for such niceities. They had a score to settle with destiny on the broomball rink. So, like on so many nights before, they arrived by Mazda, and Honda, and Jeep Cherokee through the driving snow ready for battle with not only the Ballhuggers but the even more feared Mother Nature. There was a feeling of great expectation and defiance among the Ultra men. The evil refs and the snow and the cold and the Ballhuggers were not going to get in the way with our date with the second round. Aside from veteran future hall of famer defender Joe Z. and up and coming second-year defensive star Ian McRoberts, who were kept away due to untimely business affairs, and star goaltender Cobra, who had gone to see the Clippers (the %$*#! Clippers?????????), everyone was there. We warmed up with a rousing game of pickle in the middle. Our scoop passes and passes splitting two defenders were looking sharp. We felt good. Game on.

The game started out well for Ultra with a blitzkrieg attack deep into the Ballhugger zone right after the whistle blew to start the game and we won the initial faceoff. Less than 30 seconds into the game Charlie Griak deftly wrapped the broomball around the post and stuffed it into the net after some beautiful moves behing the net.

(to be continued....I have to actually work now)

Recap Part 2:

Ultra's hopes and confidence were high after that first goal. (Dare I say too high?) Unfortunately the Ballhuggers soon equalized on a very lucky rebound that fell into their lap. This was the evening's first bit of luck for the Ballhuggers who seemed to have lucky charms all up their asses (and possibly even rubber broomball magnets in their sticks as some conspiracy theorists hold). And the snow kept falling! Soon the ice became slicker than the Ricker (your daily Silver Spoons reference)and this would have dire consequences for Ultra. Our cheetah-like speed (or as Cobra and Cobra Jr. prefer to say, Snake-like quickness, hissssssssss) was neutralized. For most of the first half though we did control the ball though and kept it in the Ballhugger end of the rink. Our stellar group of forwards, Ian, Coach, Charlie, and Beau created numerous scoring opportunities along with our defensemen Pat, Craig and Bill who also made timely runs at the net and also created opportunities of their own. Unfortunately, the Ballhugger goalie, like many of his teammates, also had shoved numerous horseshoes, green clovers, and other lucky charms up his rectum before the game and thus none of the shots crossed over the goalline. Although we dominated the first half, the ballhuggers came up with two breakaways that were masterfully denied by up and coming goalie Cobra Jr. on the first shot. Unfortunately, like on the first goal, the rebounds luckily bounced right back to the trailing ballhugging bastirds who put away the goals.

At the end of the first half, a surprised and dejected Ultra was down 3-1. The ballhuggers hugged their balls tight and laughed at Ultra, saying "you are so weak, you are going to die and wilt on the ice like a bunch of pansies." We defiantly shouted back, "We are not pansies! We prefer daisies! And daisies don't wilt mother fuckers!" With these words and a rousing half time speech by coach, Ultra stormed the ice and with a fierce determination characteristic of such a group of young, handsome, scholarly warriors. Unfortunately our determination did not bear fruits right away. Just the opposite. Once again the testicle embracers caught us off guard and were off on a 3-0 break, which Cobra Jr. once again denied on the first, and second and third shots, but with the luck of the ballhuggers the ball bounced up and off of the ballhuggers helmet into the back of the net. Ultra was now down 4-1. With an ever increasing determination and fire in the belly Ultra began to completely dominate. We had shot after shot after shot. Charlie Griak chipped into the lead with a rocket shot into the top shelf, his second goal of the evening. With the score now 4-2, the domination continued. Luckily with Cobra Jr. in the net our defense had the luxury of being able to press up and help out the offense. Unfortunately the shots would not go in and the rebounds seemed to evade our sticks on purpose (another conspiracy?). Then when all hope seemed lost, with two minutes to go after a flurry of activity in the net, Beau ended his scoring dry spell with a timely goal off a beautiful centering pass from Ian (or it could have been Charlie, Craig, or Ben...unfortunately the game was not recorded). Ultra now had two minutes left to tie the game. But we didn't and we lost 4-3. I felt as deflated as that last sentence. A bitter taste was left in our mouths as the triumphant ballhuggers laughed and smiled and mocked our misfortune.

Damn the ballhuggers! It was a fine season for Ultra nonetheless. I think we're a better team this year and we are going to be a major force in Twin Cities broomball for a long time to come.

We will definitely miss Ian G. next season. Although he only played one full season with Ultra, I'd vote him in the Ultra Hall of Fame. I also think we should definitely sign Craig to a long term deal. I also agree with Ben that we should start training camp next year a bit earlier.