You know you're trailer trash when...

1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey watch this."

7. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

8. Your junior prom had a daycare.

9. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."

10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

11. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

12. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

13. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

14. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.